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Thursday, October 01, 2009

Does Anyone Make Movies Like "On The Waterfront" Anymore? A Film That Gives New Meaning To ATM Machine-Enter "The Human Centipede!"

WOW! Where do I begin? Just as an amusement park ride conductor must give warnings to prospective roller coaster riders with weak constitutions, so must I, as it pertains to those who chose to delve further into the details of the upcoming celluloid project, The Human Centipede. And the preeminent question remains.....will our resident film critic, Sergio Mims be reviewing this "masterpiece?" But I jest and digress-while perusing the net earlier today and stopping by the cyber projects (code name for the ghettocentric gossip blog, Media Takeout) I came across The Human Centipede and its horrific premise:

Courtesy of ShockTillyouDrop.com:

Two American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany they end up with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day they awake to find themselves trapped in a terrifying make shift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. A German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins.However his three "patients" are not about to be separated, but joined together in an horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric system, in doing so bringing to life his sick lifetime fantasy "the human centipede.

As a self-effacing and self-described afronerd, I readily confess that I lament over the present day dearth of truly scary films that harken back to the slasher fests of the 80s. One can, of course, go back to the Alfred Hitchcock classics (including his nascent British cinematic period) that relied on suspense and superb acting chops as a proxy for today's overuse of gore and CGI. And one must also ask....how do you scare a culture that lives in a world that is literally engulfed in authentic moribundity? One could make the argument that this film is just a misunderstood piece of cinematic art that is an allegory for our current political climate-hence the "ass to mouth" reference. I kid, I kid! The film, which is described as a horror comedy directed by Dutch filmmaker Tom Six, received partial financing from the UK. I mention this because we still have yet to see a Toussaint L'ouverture film, however a turbid faux porn film can get greenlighted! Earlier, I mentioned that this film might be analogous to Washington politics, maybe Tinseltown should be included as well. Any penny for your thoughts...

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